My Ramblings

Can't you hear it, I can.
It screams in my head and rips
through my brain.
The never ending assault,
making me crazy,
making me die,
bit by tiny bit.
If it doesn't stop,
my eyes will bleed,
my thought process will freeze,
a true zombie,
one of the walking dead
pretending at life.
Just make it stop,
it has to stop,
the silence is killing me.

jb

I take my son to see a specialist on wed.
Its the result of him being hit by a drunk driver around xmas time.
I feel angry about this, and scared.

How to make a joeysgame

Ingredients: 5 parts pride 5 parts arrogance 5 parts instinct

Method: Combine in a tall glass half filled with crushed ice. Add lustfulness to taste! Do not overindulge!

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joeysgame Highway Bewilderment Avenue 3 Paintown 13 County Jail 55 Wealthville 129 Hobotown 422 Please Drive Carefully

Username:

Where are you on the highway of life?

From <a href="http://www.go-quiz.

I

The Liberated Lover 59% partner focus, 85% aggressiveness, 70% adventurousness

Based on the results of this test, it is highly likely that: You prefer your romance and love to wild and daring rather than typical or boring, you would rather pursue than be pursued and, when it comes to physical love, your satisfaction comes more from providing a wonderful time to your partner than simply seeking your own. This places you in the Lover Style of: The Liberated Lover. The Liberated Lover is a wonderful Lover Style, and forms the kind of free-thinking, sexually-exciting, self-confident lover that society once condemned but that a liberal-mind cherishes and exults. The Liberated Lover is a treasure to find, though it can sometimes be difficult to do so because they are often already engaged in relationships or are in high-demand if "in the market." In terms of physical love, the Liberated Lover is possibly the most thrilling and demanding of all, with the one potential drawback being that it is possible to feel 'overmatched' at times by their prowess and selfless giving. Given trust and understanding, and the right lover, the Liberated Lover can be a delight in bed. Best Compatibility can probably be found with: The Exotic Lover (most of all) or the Carnal Lover, or the Suave Lover. Congratulations! If you enjoyed this test, I would love the feedback! Also, you might want to check out some of my other tests if you're interested in the following: Nerds, Geeks & Dorks Professional Wrestling Buffy the Vampire Slayer America/Politics Thanks Again! -- THE LOVER STYLE PROFILE TEST

My test tracked 3 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender: You scored higher than 99% on partner focus You scored higher than 99% on aggressiveness You scored higher than 99% on adventurousness

Link: The Lover Style Profile Test written by donathos on OkCupid, home of the The Dating Persona Test

and when your 11, almost 12 year old son is at teen night at the ymca..
Fuck, i thought it was 9pm, he was supposed to be home..
You go and can't find him..you feel sick..your upset and pissed off...

you look, its raining, and raining harder.
Walk passt the huddled groups of teens (he isn't a teen yet, even)..he's not there..they are all smokin cigs, dope..you hope he isn't..yet..
You ask a few kids, they say he left, went home..you get back in the car, drive, looking for him all the way home, making sure each figure isn't him..
You get home..you can hear him..thank god..he's home...
your pissed off and tell him, tell him its too damn late..you should have called..

inside your so fucking happy..he's home, he's safe.

SILENCE

Its too quiet
like death
Silent screams
Echoes of pain
Darkness waits
Shadows hide the truth
Panic sets in
Just a heartbeat
Lost in time
Falling faster
A sweet reward.

j.b.

The Part of You That No One Sees

You are aloof, mysterious, and distant. People feel like they really don't know the true you... Yet they're still drawn to you, almost by magnetic force. Underneath it all, you don't even really feel like you know yourself. It's easier to put on a front than really think about your life's purpose. You tend to seem pretentious, but it's just a mechanism you use to push people away.

You are Strength

Courage, strength, fortitude. Power not arrested in the act of judgement, but passing on to further action, sometimes obstinacy.

This is a card of courage and energy. It represents both the Lion's hot, roaring energy, and the Maiden's steadfast will. The innocent Maiden is unafraid, undaunted, and indomitable. In some cards she opens the lion's mouth, in others she shuts it. Either way, she proves that inner strength is more powerful than raw physical strength. That forces can be controlled and used to score a victory is very close to the message of the Chariot, which might be why, in some decks, it is Justice that is card 8 instead of Strength. With strength you can control not only the situation, but yourself. It is a card about anger and impulse management, about creative answers, leadership and maintaining one's personal honor. It can also stand for a steadfast friend.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.

Reply to this and

1: I'll respond with something random about you.
2: I'll challenge you to try something.
3: I'll pick a colour that I associate with you.
4: I'll tell you something I like about you.
5: I'll tell you my first/clearest memory of you.
6: I'll tell you what animal you remind me of.
7: I'll ask you something I've always wanted to ask you.
8: If I do this for you, you must post this in your journal

stella_omega
2007-03-07 12:23 pm (local) (link) Track This
1: You're never going to grow up.

2: Try writing a sonnet- stretch your skills. Give it plenty of time, treat it like a crossword puzzle, don't be satisfied with the first time around. Don't stop writing while you're doing this though!

3: White, like a button-down shirt- probably unbuttoned.

4: You show a great deal of emotional intelligence- which is, I think, why you can play the way you do.

5: "The End Of Innocence" but I don't remember how we got into that!

6: a dog- a good, solid mutt, the kind that people are sure must be a purebred of some sort.

7: What's your most unusual fetish?

It was an absolutely beautiful day today, sunny, warm and got a lot accomplished.
The sun really seems to pick me up and carry me through.

The holidays were a time of reflection for me this year. Putting my life in a frame that made sense to me. Trying to organize my thoughts and figure out why i choose to do what i do. My priorities were made painfully clar to me when my son was hit by a drunk driver while he was walking home from school with his older brother. It felt like life stood still, a piece frozen in time. I wasn't sure in that moment upon learning that he had been hit if my life was crashing down and i would never be able to get back up again or if i was going to hear that he was okay, he'd be fine..thankfully he is fine, a small limp but otherwise unscathed. He certainly learned from the incident and seems to now have a healthy respect of cars and the unpredictability of drivers.
This experience is one of those life altering events for all parties involved.

The last time i had a decent sleep was last Thursday night. Since then i have slept a total of 2 hours..Sat night

The shadow friends are out in full force..just one step behind me.

And holy crap, i swore that a snowman constructed of white lights tipped his hat to me on my walk home from work.
Will have to go back and see.

I miss my friends from the net and not on the net..i work too damn much..im tired.

You are the Hanged Man

Self-sacrifice, Sacrifice, Devotion, Bound.

With the Hanged man there is often a sense of fatalism, waiting for something to happen. Or a fear of
loss from a situation, rather than gain.

The Hanged Man is perhaps the most fascinating card in the deck. It reflects the story of Odin who offered himself as a sacrifice in order to gain knowledge. Hanging from the world tree, wounded by a spear, given no bread or mead, he hung for nine days. On the last day, he saw on the ground runes that had fallen from the tree, understood their meaning, and, coming down, scooped them up for his own. All knowledge is to be found in these runes.

The Hanged Man, in similar fashion, is a card about suspension, not life or death. It signifies selflessness, sacrifice and prophecy. You make yourself vulnerable and in doing so, gain illumination. You see the world differently, with almost mystical insights.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.

Just spent the last couple of hours unplugging the percalin god..still not sure what was down there, besides the obvious. Mind you it wasn't obvious at all..thank christ for small miracles!

This all done without a damn tool, no plunger to be found in the general surroundings.. This is not surprising considering its 1 am on a Monday night/Tuesday morning.

Tools for unplugging a very stubborn toilet in this situation..
1)bicycle pump. (the kind you step on the end and pull up then push down.

2)the top third from a 2 litre pop bottle. (plastic of course)

3)one yellow kitchen glove.

Quite proud of myself for pulling this one off..LOL
'

True Master/Mistress You scored 71% Dominance and 83% Roughness!

You are a freak! You are very dominating and will do anything, and I mean ANYTHING, to keep your slave in line. Although, you do this for your own pleasure...you also enjoy giving your slave great pleasure even if it comes through pain. Just keep your whip and cuffs ready.

This test tracked 2 variables. How the score compared to the other people's:

	Higher than 76% on Dominance
	Higher than 83% on Roughness

Link: The Dominance Test written by EternalFire00 on Ok Cupid

I guess thats life isn't it?
I'm missing a riend in the worst way, tells me things havn't changed but I know they have.
Wish I could find a way to let that friend know how I feel without seeming needy or stupid but doesn't seem like I can find the words to accomplish that goal.

Okay, so last night, think itwas night 5..or somethin.
Yeah I slept..for 3 freakin hours..kinda took the edge off the shadowland shit. Stopped my brain from creating weird shit, no more strangers just seeemingly popping outa dreamscape..

Night 5, still awake,1.05 am..but hey whatever i
m not freakin anymore..

Okay it was day three..now it is night three, almost 11pm, i'm afraid to try to sleep..LOL
If I don't sleep tonight, i'm gonna be in trouble tomorrow.
One night without sleep, eh okay.
Two nights, your tired and irritable.
Three nights.."what was that shadow?"
Four nights,..they come out to play,...you know, THEM!!